Earth.

What is "this disposable life" really about?

I can tell you for a fact that regret should be disposable.  No doubt about that.  I don't think that fond memories are though.  Where is that line? The wishing for something past and the appreciation of it?  I suppose that is where the question really comes into play.  As with everything, balance, walking the line, the tight rope of life.  I am sure, to be sure, that Thomas Wolfe had it right when he said "you can't go home again."  Where is my home though where is that bit of earth that makes me, me, that grounds me to the - today?  I don't know.  It isn't where I was, It isn't where I am - blooming where I am planted not withstanding.  

I am quite sure that we all have a very strong relationship to the ground.  That we give and take from our place on it.  I know, that my grounding is not actually physical, it is God, it is my husband, my children, me - in a soul sense not a physical sense, but, and really , though, when I start to ignore the actual physical I know that I am missing something.  I am not one that can hang on to the idea that all who wander aren't lost.  I do feel lost, the wandering has caught up to me, I am done.  

I need something that is mine, ours really, Jonathon and I's and our children's for the first time, I think that thinking about what I am giving them, the future, is most important to me.  I hope that this is a sign of maturity, growth, the age that I pride myself so much in, mid-thirties, while a baby in so many respects, is time to know things that I didn't know when I young or younger.

I wrote that about 5 months ago - It is a little all over the place but I am not going to fix it up.  Because the irony isn't lost on me.  I have found that bit of earth - that will also be what this blog is about.  The journey to my bit of earth.  I really do want to share it with you.