Saluting the Sun

I wrote this over a year ago.  It came to mind today at Ladies Bible Study.  

Thurs Aug 2, 2012

Saluting the Sun

I like the idea of rituals.  Well, maybe not, actually I think I like ritual, but not the idea of them.  They breed guilt, though, only in the not preforming them when I say I am going to preform them.  When I first became a Lutheran, or started to consider being a Lutheran I reveled in the ritual of the liturgy.  I came from a method of worship that told me that ritual made you care less, that is wasn't authentic.  That was a hard thing to break, and I think it is part of what is holding on here in my mind.  There is safety in that ritual though, it takes *me* out of the picture.  At least were my faith is concerned it doesn't require me to conjure up some (fake) expression of emotion or need to impress.  The words are right there in front of me, most of them from the Bible and I can just relax in that.  So I like the idea of this ritual, it is comforting, to know I don't have the responsibility to be earnest *enough*.  I am finding this true in other areas of my life as well.

I would like to make it a ritual to do 3 sun salutations, that is a yoga thing for anyone that doesn't know, every morning.

I would like to write on this blog every morning and evening.

I would like to recite a prayer with each of my children individually everyday.

I would like to floss my teeth twice a day.

These are all good things - but did you see what has just happened there, this became a list, a check-mark sheet, another way to tell myself that I am  not good enough when I don't do it all or how awesome I am when I do.  I know that I can not put myself in a situation that breeds legalism, because I know I like it.  I like the yummy feeling of all of my check-marks being marked.  And I despair at them not.

I don't really know what to do with it.